Jesus Was An Only Son?

Do I believe in Jesus? Well, I do have a pretty good reason to believe. Do you remember the things that I recently told you about the time I was held captive... with a noose tied around my neck... in Las Vegas? Thou it seemed like I always believed in God, it was that night in Las Vegas that God proved his love to me... as Patrick began to cut my friend's neck I prayed, "Oh God, I'm not asking to live... I know that I'm dead... but please forgive me so I can come to heaven... I just want to see Jesus... I just want to see Jesus." And as I finished the last prayer that I thought I would ever pray I looked up to see Jesus. My "vision" comforted me and told me not to be afraid. I'm really not sure what Patrick saw but as he took the knife from my friend's neck he said to her, "I can't kill you, cause I can't kill Gina." He then made us vow to not tell before leaving... but he let us live. The "professionals" have said that people who have major trauma need to believe in God and/or miraculous intervention to cope... and believing has helped me "cope"... but how can you doubt what you know that you know? Well I do it all the time! Doubt that it... but in my heart I hold on to my faith in my "saver." As time passed I read the Bible from start to finish as if it were a completed novel... when I finished I started again till I had read it totally through well over 25 times... from beginning to end. The old testament was so interesting... 4,000 years of family stories... from Adam to Abraham alone was filled with real life pains... many worse than my own... it was very interesting... and sad. Rape... incest... murder... adultery... I'll try to give you a "shortened" version. lol and get to my point. :) So Abe leaves home to follow his God... he has two sons, Isaac and Ishmael... (whose decedents later become enemies.) We'll follow Isaac... who has 2 sons: Esau and Jacob. From the womb Jacob was a thief and con man who steals the birthright and blessing from his elder brother... wrestles with God and demands God's blessing. Jacob works 7 years for the woman he loves only to be tricked into marrying her older sister, Leah (Karma?) but he loves Rachel and agrees to work another 7 years for her. Between the sisters and their maids, Jacob becomes the father of 12 sons... one of the sons, Joseph, is beaten by his brothers and sold as a slave to Egyptian traders. Because he interprets dreams, he becomes an advisor in Egypt eventually forgiving and saving his family from famine... and eventually relocates Jacob's family to Egypt... God has "renamed" Jacob to Israel... his sons will become the twelve tribes of Israel... many years pass and the children of Israel become great in number... to control them the Egyptian government enslaves them... and they begin to cry out for a deliverer. The story of Moses and The Ten Commandment! Believe it or not the movie is quite close to being biblically accurate. So Moses and his brother Aaron lead the children of Jacob/Israel out of bondage and into the desert... up to Mt. Sinai where Moses received the "tablets of stone" with the ten commandment written by the hand of God. God instructed Moses to build an ark to house and protect the stone tablets.

"Detailed instructions are given by God for the plan of the Ark: it is to be 2½ cubits in length, 1½ in breadth, and 1½ in height. Then it is to be plated entirely with gold, and a crown or molding of gold is to be put around it. Four rings of gold are to be put into its corners—two on each side—and through these rings staves of shittim-wood overlaid with gold for carrying the Ark are to be inserted; and these are not to be removed. A golden cover, adorned with golden cherubim, is to be placed above the Ark. The Ark is finally to be placed behind a veil, a full description of which is also given."

God gave detailed instructions as to how the ark was to be treated and where it would sit in the tent of worship... it was totally honored and one of the tribes was assigned to handle all the praise and worship duties... the Levites. I always loved the stories of King David... and his desire to build a temple... but it was almost 500 years after the Ark was built before King Solomon (King David & Bathsheba's son) built what was known as Solomon's Temple where the Ark of The Covennant was placed and reverenced for many years.

"In 586 BC, the Babylonians sieged Jerusalem and once captured, plundered and destroyed Solomon's Temple. Some historians suggest that the Ark was probably taken away by Nebuchadnezzar or perhaps destroyed in battle. Consequently, the rebuilt Second Temple did not house the Ark in its Holy of Holies room. According to the Book of Revelation, the Ark returns to the Temple in vision: "Then God's temple in heaven was opened, and within his temple was seen the Ark of his Covenant" (Rev. 11:19 NIV)."

So 600 years later... a baby is born... in Bethlehem. A bastard... but they can cover that up if Joseph is willing... and he is. He raises Jesus as his own... but only Mary knows the truth. You know the rest of the story. Did it really happen? Is it true? Was Jesus the one that scripture told us would come to "save the world?" Was it His BLOOD that paid the price?? And if so, who can prove it now... 2000 years later? Maybe if they found some of Jesus's blood and tested it... what would that prove? That he was half man half God? Okay... so forget about THAT. Let's get back to the Ark of The Covennant... something that is tangible... and provable! BUT WHERE is the Ark? You will never believe where they found it!! THIS IS AMAZING!! :o

You're Missing

Shirts in the closet, shoes in the hall
Mama's in the kitchen, baby and all
Everything is everything
Everything is everything
But you're missing

Coffee cups on the counter, jackets on the chair
Papers on the doorstep, you're not there
Everything is everything
Everything is everything
But you're missing

Pictures on the nightstand, TV's on in the den
Your house is waiting, your house is waiting
For you to walk in, for you to walk in
But you're missing, you're missing
You're missing when I shut out the lights
You're missing when I close my eyes
You're missing when I see the sun rise
You're missing

Children are asking if it's alright
Will you be in our arms tonight?

Morning is morning, the evening falls I have
Too much room in my bed, too many phone calls
How's everything, everything?
Everything, everything
You're missing, you're missing

God's drifting in heaven, devil's in the mailbox
I got dust on my shoes, nothing but teardrops

~Bruce Springsteen

For You ~ Just For Me

I believe that what is most important about a song is what it means to you... how it speaks to your soul... so much more so than what it is that the songwriter was thinking at the time that he penned it. I've been hesitant to share with you what For You means to me because it is so personal... but that is part of what makes it so special. It was 1978... I was just 18... a time in life when a girl should be thinking of her future... and the wonders that life could bring... but I was thinking of how I could get away from life... imagining where I could run to... to get away from the foulness of the this world. I had been so abused and beaten down... that my Chelsea had suicide (with no apparent motive). No apparent motive that is to those who weren't looking hard enough to see me. I was lost and alone... and after running from an abusive father I found that my life was about to end at the hands of a killer who luckily had a sudden change of heart and decided that he would let my friend and me live if we vowed our silence... we assured him that we wouldn't "tell" anyone. I broke that promise and became the sole witness testifying of his torture... in front of the jury... I looked into his face as I described how he had tied nooses around our necks so that if we tried to escape the ropes would tighten and choke us... of how he bragged throughout the night about the women he'd killed and scattered throughout the Nevada dessert... and of course of what he promised to do to us. He was indeed found guilty and sentence to 99 years... 3 counts x2... life in prison. I got many pats on the back that day... I had stopped a killer! At least momentarily... because that night after losing a game of chess to his cell mate (a young man who was in on a burglary charge) he got angry and killed him with his bare hands. Just a 20 year old kid in the wrong cell... at the wrong time... the murder was followed by a death sentence... and it didn't end there as he was able to get a hold of guns and took the prison hostage resulting in the death of 2 more inmates. He is still on death row... 30-some years later. But it wasn't HIS prison that I was living in... it was my own. I had been locked in a cell with fear... and imagined that ALL men were cruel... (which many have since proven to be...) but my soul longed for "true" love none the less... I can remember feeling so alone... it felt like no one understood. Broken and scared (and scarred) I was on my own... "Your strength is devastating in the face of all these odds... remember how I kept you waiting..." I don't think it was the waiting that was so hard on her... as it was the world and facing it alone. You truly do "have to learn to live with what you can't rise above." Yet, the man in this song somehow finds her... broken on the beach... he pours salt on her tongue... salt represents flavor... but it also represents the savior... the salt of the earth... her own personal Jesus... who came to the earth for her. By using salt her savior gives her back a thirst for life with the hope of salvation... she feels redemption in his love... but he doesn't get too close because he knows that she is injured and he doesn't want to make her run away again... (In her dream) he is a kind and gentle man... determined to protect her... which helps her to trust him... so she allows him close enough to put salt on her tongue... he gives her the flavor and then hangs just out of reach... making her "act" on her desires again. "Pull yourself up." his actions echo. "You were born with the power of a locomotive..." But that damn medal... that pride always gets in the way... but it was that very same medal... the pride in her strength (that was devastating) that gave her strength... then she finally realizes that there really never was any better reason than the one they were living for... and he's still there... much to her surprise... when everyone else had walked away and left her broken on the beach... her savior found her... I think the ironic part is when she finds that it was the man she ran from... the one she left behind due to her fear... not only the fear that he would hurt her but that she would hurt him... and bring him down... ruin his future... but he was the kind man she sought... that would have shown her the love that she so needed. What she didn't realize is that she was and is what he came for... he needed her as much as she needed him... and he was hurt too but he's not going to burden her with his pain nor ask her to lick his boo boo... cause it's about her... he's here for her. I'm not sure if he ever left... or if his heart waited for her... if he kept searching for her after she went to find a "better reason" than them... but even if he did leave for a time... he came back... with salt... and not for her beauty... or the sexy way (that she's stretched out on the floor). His motivation transcends the physical... he didn't come for her body... but for her soul... for the very essence of their being. FOR YOU became my "True Love Song"... the one that I could and would escape to... when I needed to believe that LOVE is real and that true love will not leave you nor forsake you... but it will find you when you are at your weakest it will not only give you back a thirst for life... it will remind you that you were born with the power of a locomotive... now get up and be devastatingly strong... for us.

One of my "all time" favorite movies also has the "I came for you" theme...

I love how KYLE came to protect Sarah from THE TERMINATOR!

"Happy" Valentine's Day?

What or whom decides what it is that qualifies as having a "happy" Valentine's Day? Obviously not all of "us" have been as fortunate and blessed as Mr Springsteen & Ms Scialfa have been when it comes to love and finding that "one true" (soul) mate... Do you know the love that I'm talking about? It's the kind that has the strength to last through the storms of life... a love that remains even when passion seems to have not... and in it's place is a strong bond of friendship. The same one that completes with conviction it's vow in sickness and in health. Wow... that really sounds cool, but as idealistically sweet as it should be... the reality is that not all relationships stand the test of time... some do not weather life's storms... as some "mates" have lost their desire and have moved on... to find new "love"... some have hardened their hearts... to become loners... while yet others have learned to live with a broken heart. The lucky ones have gotten over love and just enjoy every breath that they are graced with!! So what does Valentine's Day mean to the broken hearted? Is it a day to forget... or a day to remind yourself to dream... and like Bruce sings, "keep searching till ya find, that special one." where two hearts are better than one? I think of the lyric, "my daddy said right before he died that true true love was just a lie." As much as I want to believe for a "starry eyed" love... I think "Daddy" was right... but I also think that it's wonderful when two people can believe the "lie" together... and be happy thinking that they are in love. See... not all lies are bad! Where ever you are in your "love walk"... I wish you blindness... and the ability to believe that love is true... and I wish you the kind of love that you need... the kind of love that you were searching for. As for me... I'm not really sure what LOVE is... or what it is supposed to feel like... so I shouldn't even be writing this... lol

What I do know is that Bruce's "LOVE" songs break my heart.

Couldn't be love... could it?

Princess of Little Italy

Here's a blast from the past... :o